dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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