A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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