actually, I'm a sock model
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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