Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this will be a night to untag.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize