I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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