I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
He better not be in your backpack
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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