I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize