He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
So much Jack, so little girl.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize