Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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