first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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