yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize