Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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