Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Congratulations! We have a period
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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