Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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