I hate your face
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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