i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
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