I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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