Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize