I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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