I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize