there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize