Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
They have beer where we have blood.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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