i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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