P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize