Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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