1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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