did you get engaged???
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize