Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
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