Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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