I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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