So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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