im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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