I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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