forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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