I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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