Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
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Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
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didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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