I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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