who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize