So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize