It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize