This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize