i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
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i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
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Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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