i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk is not a location!
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize