so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
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he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
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You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize