it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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