good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
In America we eat man semen.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
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