I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize