I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize