I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
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For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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