Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
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